The following is
an email from Paul Barby, sent on 2-4, in response to
discussion of a letter by C. Smith in the Feb 1 issue
of the Gayly
Oklahoman
(Posted 2-7-02)
Regarding the posts
concerning the Log Cabin Republicans in Oklahoma:
In my view the biggest problem we (GLBT's) are facing
with Republicans, Southern Baptists, bigoted
Democrats -- individuals and groups across the broad
spectrum of our society -- is that they do not know
us. They only know what they have been taught
about us by those who don't know us or who want to
use us as scapegoats to promote their agenda --
Falwell/Robinson/Dobson use us to raise money for
their TV diatribes; the Gingrich clones, to promote
the fear factor in politics to control the masses
primarily because their support base, the Southern
Baptists and other fundamentalists control their
agenda.
Therefore, it is very important that we make every
effort for those who demean us and use us to know us
as responsible human beings, participating daily
along side them in their lives and always have been,
but not visible and out of the closet, so to speak.
It is vital that those GLBT persons who are able to
tolerate the Republican agenda be visible in the
Republican Party. NOW, that does not mean that
any GLBT person should capitulate blindly to the
Republican agenda but it is important that someone be
at that "table" as I have written earlier,
to make certain that as the political food is passed
around the table, there is someone speaking up at
that table for GLBT's.
As a footnote, I specifically named Southern Baptists
because of an encounter just yesterday during the
Soulforce vigil at Village Baptist Church. I
had a long conversation, civil in tone but
frightening in content, with a bright woman from that
congregation. They are convinced that there is
a reason in our past, some teacher, some deviant who
seduced us or taught us, something that has made us
gay contrary to the unbendable law in God's word. She
is determined to defend the infallible
scriptures -- being gay is not natural and we must
recognize the primacy of God's word. Tough to listen
to, insulting to my intelligence, nasty in its
spiritual violence -- but a chance to be known by one
of the "enemy."
What caused our conversation to continue was hearing
for the first time in her life, I surmise, that we
are responsible human beings, no more driven by sex
than she is in her comfortable heterosexual fortress
she uses to bomb us with spiritual violence.
Because of our conversation, she wants to continue to
talk, although I will readily admit her agenda is to
prove to me that I am wrong and can change. She
will be bringing "research" proving there
is a gay agenda next month to discuss with me.
It is tough to talk with her -- there is so much that
is just plain vicious in what she believes and says
-- I escaped that religious prison with the Southern
Baptists back in the late 1950's so this was not
pleasant for me. BUT we both, she and I, came
to a respect for each other and can continue to
reveal who we are to each other, hopefully to come to
an awareness that I feel she lacks and she is
convinced that I am brainwashed with. She heard
some challenges to her way of thinking she had never
heard before. Will the outcome be positive?
I do not know but I am willing to keep trying because
I judge her to be a strong voice in that congregation.
Now, back to GLBT's participating in the Republican
Party as Log Cabin members in Oklahoma. Of
course they should be there and we should encourage
them to be there. How will Republicans ever
recognize the distortions about us in their thinking
if they don't know any of us except the bold
brassiness the media and TV evangelists label us
with, picking only parts of our culture as typical of
all of us while they ignore those same elements in
their "straight" world. When she
suggested, no accused us, of being nothing but loud,
shocking, promiscuous sex-driven individuals like
those sound/video bites from past gay pride events
she uses to recognize us -- she has never know
anything different about us, I suggested that she
look at her world, too, not missing the boldness and
rashness evidenced in sports bars, at OU tailgate
parties, strip joints, porn shops. She admitted
that, yes, there is much of that in the straight
world "that is sinful." I believe I made
the point with her that GLBT's and straights are not
different in our lifestyles -- both groups have the
same diversity of lifestyles. She did admit
that there were many "straight" activities
she did not approve of but couldn't resist that God's
word condemns those types of activities, too.
My response was that she was certainly welcome to her
beliefs for herself but that God's word did not give
her any authority to judge others -- it was a merry-go-round
of semantics and feints with bad facts and
impressions. BUT she heard directly from me
some things that are counter to what she has been
stuffed with. I was reminded how ingrained this
need to be so right with scriptures is with someone
like her -- she is not unique -- there are many like
her -- I know. I was one of them during my
teens and early twenties. My point is engagement and
dialogue are vital. The Republicans need that
from courageous GLBT's who don't go in to destroy or
undermine but to bring our equal humanness to their
table.
By the way, we need you regardless of your religious
convictions, or opposition to the same, to join us
the first Sunday in March, which is the 3rd, for our
next vigil. DO NOT expect to nor even try to
engage in discussions such as I just described.
Our vigil is silent and when someone approaches us,
we pass that person on to someone who can stay
centered in the discussion, not that I did such a
great job, but we cannot feed their distrust of us
with the anger that we really feel inside about their
distortions and the spiritual violence they target us
with. They must get to know us as rational and
responsible citizens who have always been out there
with them daily even if most of us are still closeted.
They just do not know us for who we really are.
They have to know us. The Republicans have to
know us. Now, the debate with GLBT Republicans
about non-GLBT issues is another matter. It
boggles my mind that anyone in their right mind, GLBT
or otherwise, can buy into the Republican economic/political
agenda. It is destructive to the very core of
our democratic society, giving the leverage to those
who have the bucks and the channels of communication.
But that is not this debate about being present in
the Republican party. Go for it C. Smith and I
will debate your reasons for being a Republican in
another forum.
Paul Barby
Woodward, OK
CD6
