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Support GayOKC.com! Donate here!		 January is Gay and Lesbian Recruitment Month

The following is an email from Joe Quigley
(Posted 1-08-02)

just thought I would pass this on

When I worked at Taft Middle School the faculty was accepting of just about
everybody. There were few hang ups.
However, a small group of religiously conservative teachers fearing that a
divorced veteran teacher was hanging out too much with a crowd that included
homosexuals, prayed that she would not be influenced to become GAY.
When she was informed of this, she pointed out that they were praying for
her in February, whereas as everyone knew January was the official Gay
Recruitment Month. So as she hadn't been recruited during January, they could
rest assured she was safe.
Every January we joked about recruitment.
At NWClassen a hoped for toaster oven was added to the joke. And here it is
January.
It was suggested to me today that if I expected to get a new toaster oven I
needed to recruit actively.
To this end the following flier was drawn up.
What are the chances I could get this okayed by the principal to put in
teachers' mail boxes.
LOL
quigley



"As many of you are aware, January is Gay and Lesbian Recruitment month.
This affords you the opportunity to choose a new and alternative lifestyle
that, although controversial, is fully equal and acceptable to the one you
now live.
There is no regularly scheduled dues for membership. However, there is a
one time entrance fee payable in two equal installments, the first due on the
date you choose for your entrance exam.
Exams are scheduled each saturday in January, beginning just after
brunch, and ending with ample time for shopping and preparation for the
required disco-ing ‘til dawn. Although covering basic areas of knowledge,
there is a strong concentration on Bette Midler, Judy Garland, Broadway show
tunes, window treatments with a new section based solely on Cher.
Benefits of membership include non-judged, nongender specific activities
and interests, a list of up to date fashion do’s and don’t with the phone
number of an individually assigned sponsor to consult in moments of severest
doubt, the names and addresses of all the secret, politically, socially, and
religiously destructive and anti-cultural groups, the secret hand shake and
gang sign, and lessons to increase your taste in food, clothing and variously
applied accroutrement choices with the goal of proper accessorizing.
To prepare you for your new role, upon successful completion of your
entrance exam, at no cost to you, you will be enrolled in The Art of
Effective Self-Defense which includes how to recognize an inevitable bashing,
the proper technique for evasion, and for those rare of times what to scream
and at what volume when unable to ward off an attacker.
You will also receive the booklet “Now That I Am Fired, Homeless And
Unable To Stay Or Eat At Public Accommodfations, Where Is The Best City To
Move To?” absolutley free- just for signing up.
As and added incentive, if you sign up a friend, upon the successful
completion of the entrance exam, you will qualify for the toaster oven , a
bonus ordinarily reserved for the veteran homosexual with years of membership
and experience.
If this is attractive to you, and is what you have always wanted, but
was not aware of the opportunity open to you, do not hesitate.
See your official Gay and Lesbian Community Recruitment Representative
today.
This offer is only good for the month of January, and is only offered
yearly at this time."

 

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