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The following is
are emails from Karen Weldin and Paula Sophia
(Posted 2-22-04)
Dear Soulforce in Oklahoma friends and supporters,
Paula Schonauer is a friend to many of us. Many of
you, I am sure, read
Paula's story in the Daily Oklahoman on
Sunday, February 8th. The article
on the front page of the paper entitled "Two
lives, two struggles" is some
of Paula's story. Paula is a transgender person. She
is committed to
being authentic and living life being herself and not
hiding. She has paid
a very high price to live with such authenticity and
integrity. We all
have so much to learn from Paula about honesty and
integrity - spirituality
and living.
Paula needs our help. While the article about Paula
in the newspaper
shares a lot about what she has gone through and
still does, it does not
explain all of the struggle and emotional toil she
goes through on a day to
day basis. She has been suffering alone in many ways.
Below you will read
a letter Paula has written about the struggles she is
going through in her
job. She is not able to articulate exactly what kind
of help she needs at
this point, but still, she is asking for our help. I
am asking that we be
there to help Paula and support her through these
difficult times.
The purpose of this email and Paula's letter below is
to end her suffering
alone and to make us all aware of what she is going
through. I believe we
need to be ready to respond when she needs us. From
my conversations with
Paula, I hear her asking for several types of help. I
hear her asking for
our emotional and spiritual help. She needs to know
that she can count on
our friendship. She needs to know that she can call
on us and lean on us
when she needs to. In the days to come Paula may need
other kinds of help
and support as well. She may need attorneys who are
willing to donate
services to her. She may need financial assistance to
help pay for legal
fees or other services.
Paula is not asking for any type of protest, angry
letters to her employer,
etc. - quite the contrary. What she needs right now
is positive responses.
If you are thinking about Paula, let her know this.
Send her an email or
give her a call - let her know you care. If you have
had direct
experiences with Paula as a police officer and can
affirm her professional
skills - write a letter to the Police Department.
Paula is one of the most courageous persons I know.
She is also one of the
strongest and most persevering. She is extremely
important to our
community. Please let Paula know you will be there
for her.
Read the letter and hear what Paula is saying to us.
In love and peace,
Karen Weldin
Soulforce in Oklahoma
PAULA'S CONTACT INFORMATION:
405-524-4386
PAULASOPHIA@AOL.COM
CHIEF OF POLICE, BILL CITTY
701 W. Colcord
Oklahoma City, OK 73102
PAULA'S LETTER TO YOU
21 February 2004
Dear Community,
I do not know where to start in this letter. I have
always been
hesitant to ask for help, but I feel compelled to do
so because of recent
circumstances in my work environment at the Oklahoma
City Police
Department.
On January 28, 2004 I requested assistance for a back-up
unit
on a traffic stop that resulted in a drug arrest. The
officer assigned to
assist me did not show up on the call in a timely
fashion. When she did
show up she was verbally abusive toward me. I was
upset, and I raised the
issue to my chain of command. The initial reaction
from my first line
supervisors was to criticize me for being upset. They
immediately
questioned my procedures and courses of action and
even suggested that I
may be harboring resentment toward the officer who
failed to back me and
was trying to "set her up". Because of this
response I have made a formal
complaint on the officer. I fear doing so has
compromised my safety at work.
On February 9, 2004 I was assisting detectives on a
search
warrant involving the sale of child pornography
through the Internet.
During the course of the investigation the detective
received information
about the suspect's location. They gave me the
information, and I
apprehended the suspect. I returned to the house
where they were continuing
the search. After about thirty minutes I told the
lieutenant and lead
investigator that I needed to use the restroom, and I
requested to go
somewhere else because the house being searched was
extremely unsanitary.
They basically told me that I had to get an officer
to relieve me since the
suspect was in my custody and that I had full
responsible for him. I
immediately requested a field unit to relieve me.
Thirty-five or more
minutes later I finally got relief, but not before I
was in considerable
pain. I am embarrassed to write that I did not make
it to the facilities
before having an accident.
I decided to complain about this incident even though
it is very
embarrassing for me because it bears some significant
ramifications about
how glbt people are regarded in my work environment.
I believe that this
incident is a significant example of the type of
sexual harassment I have
endured for over three years now, the kind of sexual
harassment that would
be considered intolerable if I were a genetic female.
I have endured
firearms instructors snickering behind me while I was
trying to qualify
with my weapon. I have endured underground newspapers
calling me a freak, a
chick with a dick, and several other derogatory names.
One underground
paper advised that I should commit suicide and save
myself and the law
enforcement profession a lot of embarrassment.
Another article advised that
I should save my "balls" after surgery and
send them to the chief of police
who has exhibited a severe lack of "courage"
for permitting my continued
employment with the police department. I have endured
lurid leaks about my
sexuality and my actions as a police officer given to
the media. These
stories did not air because the reporters found them
groundless, but I was
aware of their investigations nonetheless. I have
endured outbursts from an
officer in morning line-up (the same officer who
chose not to back me)
where I was called a freak and that I should "pack
up my freak show and get
the hell out of dodge". I endured the
humiliation of being denied the
opportunity to continue functioning as a Field
Training Officer (FTO), a
position of high merit, without a sufficient
explanation or due process.
I have been told that I have expected too much of the
police department,
that they have bent over backwards to accommodate me,
and that I ought to
show more gratitude that I still have a job. I have
demonstrated that I can
do the job (post transition) very well. My capacity
to perform the duties
of a police officer has not diminished, and I still
have a good
relationship with the citizens on my patrol beat. The
only thing that
compromises my ability to perform my job at optimum
levels is the continued
prejudice I face from some of my coworkers.
I realize that my chain of command cannot prevent all
of the issues I have
mentioned, but I fear that not enough has been done
to be proactive about
trying to prevent these issues. For instance, I have
undergone three
fit-for-duty evaluations and almost three years of
"fitness monitoring"
while the police department did little to offer other
employees education
about gender and sexuality issues. I have offered the
assistance of
therapists to answer employee and supervisor
questions. I have offered my
own services to help educate people about the gender
issues that I embody.
I am also aware the police department is under
obligation to do education
of sexuality issues due to a lawsuit filed by Angles
in the 1980's.
Although some of this education has occurred, it has
not been done in the
spirit intended by the parties who brought the
lawsuit. I have witnessed
this "training" on several occasions and
believe that it has only served to
facilitate stereotypes toward the glbt community and
to institutionally
sanction homophobia.
I do not believe that my work environment will remain
tenable due to my
complaints as listed above. I am aware that some of
my supervisors are
closely monitoring my emotional reactions to these
kind of events. If I
dare express anger or frustration I am treated like I
am a mental patient.
I believe that I may be subjected to another fit-for-duty
evaluation if I
express my emotions even if some of the situations I
endure would provoke
an expression of outrage in any reasonable person. I
understand that I must
be an automaton in my work environment. I am also
keenly aware that since I
have recently complained on other officers that my
own safety may not be
guaranteed. I also realize that my complaints have
opened me up to even
more scrutiny where the police department will most
likely stack up a
number of issues with which they can compromise my
continued employment.
Why, then, have I continued my employment with the
Oklahoma City Police
Department?
I have remained with the police department because my
chain of command
initially told me, "as long as one can do the
job" one can be assured that
he/she will have continued employment. I also
remained because I promised
my children that I would not move away and because I
want to contribute to
a better quality of life for them. The job of a
police officer in the
Oklahoma City Police Department has good pay and
benefits. I want to be
able to pay for my son's braces. I want to be able to
provide health care
for my children. I want to facilitate a secure home
environment for them.
If I lose my job I will be extremely compromised in
performing those
functions. If I lose my job, their mother may not be
able to keep her house
because she is, at present, very dependent on my
child support payments
which I pay every month without fail. I also have 12
years invested with
the Oklahoma City Police Department with eight more
years until I am
eligible to retire. If I choose, I can go on a
retirement program and work
five more years and make a significant contribution
to my retirement
savings.
My present work environment threatens my well being,
the well being of my
children and my future security. I cannot continue
saying nothing about the
abuses I have endured. Doing so would threaten my
emotional, mental, and
physical well being, and then, I would risk losing it
all anyway. I want to
stand up to those who persecute me and people like
me, but I need help. I
hate asking for help, but I feel that I have no other
recourse.
I apologize that I must ask for assistance in this
way. I had hoped that my
peers at work would begin to relax once they saw that
I could still do the
job effectively. I am now realizing that I have been
very naïve.
I am thankful for the friendship and support that I
have found in the glbt
community in Oklahoma. Thank you from the bottom of
my heart.
Very Sincerely,
Paula Sophia Schonauer
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